


Bepo's Beptober

by Harmonica_Smile (Rescue_Remedy)



Series: Domestic Blindness [7]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bepo attempts kinktober, Bepo's first Beptober, Bepo's first fanfic, Beptober, Complete, Crack, Ficlet, Gen, He asked "How do I tag?", He doesn't quite get the concept, He might try again, He said "I'm bad at summaries", He wrote a week's worth before he got tired, One Shot, kinktober crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27328030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rescue_Remedy/pseuds/Harmonica_Smile
Summary: Bepo wants to do something to excite Law's black heart. Beptober it is. Seven days in which Bepo explores the kinks and twists of the Polar Tang (crack fic. Very innocent, just like Bepo).
Relationships: Bepo & Heart Pirates, Bepo & Trafalgar D. Water Law
Series: Domestic Blindness [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558741
Comments: 42
Kudos: 44





	1. Bepo's Beptober, Days 1–7

**Bepo's Beptober**

* * *

Captain liked this kind of thing, Bepo knew he did. He always had his head buried in a book, and the guidelines said the content was dark and Captain leant towards the dark—just look at that threat stamped all over his fingers, or the bags under his eyes, and it didn't seem too hard a list. Bepo was sure he could create something once a day. Or every second day. Or once a week.

He pressed black paw pad against paw pad, then dipped the nib into the ink. He'd have to be careful not to spill it all over himself or the desk. That would give him away.

* * *

**Beptober Day 1: Edging**

That got people off? Humans were weird. Bepo thought he'd do art. He got the ruler and thwapped it a few times across his papillae. Only softly. They were very sensitive, and the ruler was a tool, not a torture device. Thicker paper was kept in drawers under the desk. He pulled out two sheets and one of tracing paper. These were used for his charts. Captain was a lucky guy, but anything for him.

Bepo overlapped one piece with the other, lined the ruler up along its edges and drew a line. Ah. A star shape. They were sailors. Navigators. Stars were their allies. Like Straw Hat. Captain was a supernova. After he'd outlined the stars, he grabbed some markers and coloured the background, using the ruler to edge in a few more twinkling celestial bodies.

All done. He held it up to the light in the drafting room, and pinned it to the cork-board. Wrote out on a strip of paper (using the ink and nib. It only blotched a little): _Beptober. Day 1. Edging._

* * *

**Beptober Day 2: Sounding**

He needed Shachi for this one. Or Ikkaku. He roped both of them into it. Dolphins and whales had echolocation down pat. He made them call out to each other from one side of the vessel to the other. They humoured him and wore the blindfolds. Whistling, clicking, producing a popping sound so low Bepo had to strain to hear it, and clapping their jaws, they found their way to each other without colliding into the sub's walls. They bumped into one another though. Smack bang in the middle of the corridor.

Bepo recorded it all. What a wonderful way to communicate. He didn't know what was so sexy about it. But he wrote the strip of paper out. _Beptober. Day 2. Sounding_. Then he wrote another strip to remind himself it was a recording. He spilt the ink all over at first, so had to start again, and left a purple paw print on the cork-board, but it was done.

* * *

**Beptober Day 3: Knotting**

The edging one had been really easy. And polar bears, even mink ones, weren't that great at sounding out locations, but knotting really was beyond him. No opposable thumb. Still, Penguin owed him a favour, or more so a debt. He'd beaten him at cards.

Bepo indicated the tangled mass of rope in the storage room. They'd fled from the marines at the last port, got caught in a storm, submerged in a hurry, and no-one had sorted the mooring ties out.

Penguin bitched, but sat on the floor. Pulled the ropes to him, thick and greasy with wear, and gradually eased the knots from each, ready for use for their next surfacing.

"What're you filming me for?" he grumped at Bepo.

"For Captain," Bepo said. Penguin raised his middle finger then went back to the pile. There was something peaceful about straightening out the mess.

* * *

**Beptober Day 4: Cock Warming**

It took some convincing for Shachi to allow him into the kitchen, but he did. It took more than a few bear hugs to ensure he'd made chicken that day. Bepo wanted to bring Captain his dinner, but it had to be done right. Shachi had cooked a straightforward roast packed in with onions and rosemary, and stuffed with mushrooms and pine nuts.

"It'll dry out," he complained, when Bepo took the few slices he'd carved and put the plate back in the oven for a minute or two.

"I covered it."

Shachi looked menacing with that knife.

"It's for captain."

He lowered it.

* * *

**Beptober Day 5: Knife play**

The cutlery draw jostled, clinked and clanked as Bepo pulled it from the kitchenette. He thumped it on the table, and put all the bread knives in with the steak knives, then took the carving knives, and swapped them with the scissors. Just for fun, he exchanged the spoons and forks, and mixed up the chopsticks so half stood upwards and half down.

Captain smiled when Clione cut a jagged hole in his bread while trying to spread the butter. At least it wasn't a spoon.

* * *

**Beptober Day 6: Double Penetration.**

Hole punches were handy. It was addictive—clamping, pushing, and feeling the metal undo the paper. Almost as if it took the page up to its most sensitive point and broke it. Steel and sheet clashing, fighting for dominance. Bepo tapped his paws against the two holes. He drove the pistons down again and again until there was no paper, only confetti. Confetti meant joy. Maybe it even brought it. He could see why people got into this.

* * *

**Beptober Day 7: Pet Play**

The den-den got all misty-eyed and cute whenever Bepo called Chopper, and animals definitely healed humans, right? And humans were just lesser minks.

"Hey, you wanna play 'I spy'?" A thump and yell and clanging of implements against metal let Bepo know that Blackleg had chased Straw Hat from the kitchen.

"Can't you play it with your own crew?"

"They're no fun."

"Okay." Chopper was always up for fun.

Bepo kicked back in the chair and rubbed his belly. It was heating up in the sub. "I spy with my little eye something beginning with C and C."

Chopper ran the gamut from Carrot to Charlotte, from Caesar Clown to Cindry, before settling on Cotton Candy.

"Really? You have cotton candy on the Polar Tang?" He considered defecting.

They didn't, but anything for Captain. What the tiny tanuki didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a oneshot that might never see the light of day. I hope it does. In the meantime, here's a bit of silliness. I've had the idea for a while, but wrote it quickly. I'll iron out any repetitions or errors, but will post it now so it generally fits in with the whole month of October, or it's tale/tail end.
> 
> Sea Urchins (Uni) are bottom feeders. I don't know what Bepo's gonna make of that.
> 
> Thanks for reading 💜 Would love to know your thoughts (or Bepo would. He's very curious. Plus, Beptober was fun, but he didn't quite get it). Maybe he can do week 2.
> 
> * * *
> 
> [my tumblr](https://chromatic-lamina.tumblr.com/)  
> 
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/ChromaticLamina)  
> 


	2. Bepo's Beptober, Days 8–14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bepo attempts week two of the Beptober event.

* * *

**Bepo's Beptober, Days 8–14**

* * *

"You want me to what?" Penguin asked.

"Chew."

Bepo chomped his teeth together and loosened his jaw and blew out his cheeks. Penguins _did_ regurgitate their food. There was that. Maybe they couldn't chew?

"Like a cow."

Penguin bit into the jerky and tore at it slowly as Bepo filmed the two of them eating.

Later in day in the navigator's room he added a caption: ** _Beptober Day 8: Mutual Mastication_**

* * *

The objects had a kinda post-modern artistic aesthetic, like vomit drying on the ratty coat of a drunken bum sleeping in the alleyway. Oh. Wait. That was Shachi after a bender.

Bepo adjusted the aperture. He thought the photo would look best in black and white. Old school, baby—and was using film for this one. Captain liked that gelatin silver sheen. 

Chopper, imagining all the Cotton Candy on the sub the next time he visited, had sent the items as soon as Bepo had requested them. And the mundane was always the marvellous for the second feature. At least in art photography.

He lined up the discarded cigarette ends. Could almost taste Blackleg's cuisine through the toxic aroma. He sucked saliva back between his teeth. Then he arranged the spigot next to the stubs. He'd pulled it from one of the taps in the bathroom. Uni had copped flack for spilling water all over the floor that morning. But he always turned the faucet on too fast. Maybe he'd be more cautious in the future.

Arranged flowers didn't last too long on the sub, even though Captain had a room hooked up for hydroponic medicinal herbs. But there were origami water lilies around the place. Captain's work. Once he created a water lily to reflect bounty posters for the whole crew. It was so considerate. They all begged that he teach them (cos' he knew how to make origami shuriken too), but Bepo was the only one besides Captain to have a true bounty. Higher than Chopper's as well.

A touch of pink backlit his furry cheeks, and he placed the water lily between the spigot and cigarette ends. Lined the shot up and clicked the shutter. Caption for the Captain: **_Beptober Day 9: Butt Plug_**

* * *

It wasn't every day that Ikkaku and Shachi could release their inner sea-mammal. Sometimes the tension was just too much and they had to let loose, so they were happy to run around the sub emitting low frequency almost growls. If they'd been polar bears, they would have been growls.

Pinnipeds and penguins locked themselves into their rooms on those days. Ikkaku was prey for Shachi in the wild too though, so they kept it fun in the sub. A Polar Bear usually only ate Orca if it had washed up on the beach, and vice versa. But Bepo was more likely to be prey than predator. It was one of the unbreakable ship rules that they kept it fun.

They'd seen Captain try to hide his pleasure in a deliberate face of confusion when Bepo first handed him the picture for day one and the videos for days two and three. So they were happy to oblige. Anything to see that hint of a smile again.

He _had_ groused Penguin out for flipping Bepo off for day three, and Bepo thought that was fair. Penguin should've been happy to help out. Not resentful.

Though the way Captain toyed with the warmed chicken left Bepo crestfallen, and he hadn't needed Shachi's input. _Told you so. Told you it'd dry out._ Captain preferred fish anyway.

The added request for cotton candy on the requisition list should go off without a hitch. Sugar was part of the food pyramid and the Hearts' diet was all about balance. Chopper had been very helpful, and Captain had even played two rounds of 'I Spy' with Bepo when he'd brought him day seven's recording.

Whale song lulled humans to sleep, and maybe it wasn't quite the same as landed mammals, but the low frequency sound generated from the larynx in toothed whales followed the same kind of system. Shachi luring Ikkaku into a dark corner of the sub could lead to disaster, though. They kept check that his animal form didn't emerge too much, even if it was all for Captain.

**Beptober Day 10: Deep Throating**

* * *

Jean Bart held the ruler above his own head, because no-one else was tall enough to do it. Captain opened a Room, chopped off Jean Bart's other hand (the one holding the pencil) so that he could navigate it to mark his height on the wall. Roly-Poly dude was next (he had to remove his bolero) and a few other guys from the far north were about the same height. Jean Bart had fixed Bepo's height earlier, and Captain (Law) still couldn't help that know-it-all grin when he used his fingers as a gauge to show just how many centimetres taller he was than Shachi and Penguin.

So they regaled the rest of the crew with how tiny Captain had been when he'd first come across them. Tiny, sputtering, fuming, ball of rage. And just as well. Shachi and Penguin would have battered Bepo to death if not. He flicked Penguin's forehead, his claws catching a tiny bit of skin.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"Nothing. Hand slipped." Bepo notched the wall behind him and lettered in Penguin's name, then bowed in apology.

A few members of the crew were still below twenty and a growth spurt wasn't out of the question, so Captain was eager to see progress and joined in. And it passed time.

Once twenty-one lines had been drawn onto the wall, Bepo chased his teammates out the room. Jean Bart cradled his wrist as if he'd suffered an injury.

Bepo stepped back. Was getting pretty good at taking photos now. Clicked the shutter.

**Beptober Day 11: Size Difference**

* * *

"I wanna go first." Penguin jostled Ikkaku out the way. She skidded a bit across the room and dived right back in.

"No way, you flightless fuck. Me first."

Shachi elbowed them both too. Clione and Uni wandered into the room, spied the bright colours of the helium pump, and piled onto the huddle.

Ikkaku won. She inahaled.

"I'm Pica and nobody's allowed to laugh at me!"

Captain had told them the stories. Snickers, howls, guffaws, chuckles, snorts and a strange quacking noise (Bepo suspected Penguin) erupted in the room at the helium-toned pitch.

"You're a girl. You've got a girly voice. There's no difference." Uni was usually calm, but was kinda snarling at this point. He snatched the dispenser from Ikkaku and took a quick puff.

"I'm one of Doflamingo's treasured executives, and no-one dare laugh," he yelled out. Suppressing his own giggles.

The room exploded.

Jeez, Bepo thought, if they kept going this way, none of those balloons would ever get blown up.

**Beptober Day 12: Inflation**

* * *

Bepo flapped everyone away like a housewife scattering hens. He needed to concentrate and get things ordered. There were so many prompts to tick off his list. "Scat, leave." He shooed them out the room. "Get out of here."

.

"Like, there was only me in there," Shachi said from the corridor. "And I was just sitting in the corner reading." He slid down the side of the wall and sat cross-legged on the floor. "You've been acting weird lately, Bepo."

"Sorry," Bepo said, while pulling out a strip of paper, dipping the nib in the ink. "Sorry, sorry."

**Beptober: Day 13: Scat*.**

* * *

> _Captain Bepo strode into the kitchen. He_ certainly was looking handsome this morning. Trusty navigator, Trafalgar Law, glanced up from the table, where he was eating a whole fish raw. The ~~ravenette~~ ~~raven~~ black haired man jumped up in a hurry and shook out his onyx curls. He loved his captain so. With guts and entrails spilling from the sea bream, he quickly saluted. His ebony locks fell over his glimmering golden ~~orbs~~ eyes.
> 
> "Good morning, Captain Bepo!" He sprayed a few chunks of bream across the table.
> 
> Captain Bepo grandly and magnanimously patted his paw downwards through the air a few times to indicate that navigator Trafalgar could sit.
> 
> "At ease," Captain Bepo said, and scoured the kitchen for his nemesis. Bread.

Bepo wiped the nib of the pen, very pleased that he only spilt a few drops. Captain loved stories. He'd get into that one for sure, especially once he wrote the sequel about the ferocious Sour Dough Wars. But first, he had to wait for the ink to dry.

**Beptober Day 14: Role Reversal.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Bepo is beyond excited that you all liked his first attempts at Beptober! You can see Captain's reactions above. Or a few of them.
> 
> He'd reply to all of your comments personally, but he spilt the ink (luckily he only ruined his boiler suit. Imagine if it got on his fur), and there's no replacement (until the next chapter. If there is a next chapter).
> 
> He really isn't sure if he can do weeks 3 & 4, because being creative is hard. But if he has any ideas, he'll let you know.
> 
> *If you don't know already, you might not want to look up scat. Just a warning for a t-rated work.
> 
> Thanks for reading! And sorry if "Captain" is mentioned too many times in the text. I'll try to pare it back tomorrow.  
> And...that [Origami story](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25011754/chapters/60565006) does exist! Give it a read if you like. 😊
> 
> * * *
> 
>   
>  [My tumblr](https://chromatic-lamina.tumblr.com/)   
>  [My twitter](https://twitter.com/ChromaticLamina)   
> 


End file.
